I survived my first week back at work and am half way through week #2. It’s been slightly chaotic, but all in all not bad. Outside of being purely exhausted, I’m actually enjoying being back to work. For me it’s a fine line between work and being mom. I’m only putting 6 hours a day at the office and all but 1 of those hours are my kids actually really awake. Today K didn’t get up until I actually walked in the house.
Being a stay at home mom is great, I loved being home with both my girls for the first 6 months of their lives. But I don’t think being a full-time stay at home mom is best for me. When I’m home I find myself with less tolerance than I do when I work. When I go back to work I have a sort of me time that I enjoy. I find that I’m a better mom when I go back to work. Granted I might be looking at it this way because I have to work and might as well put a positive spin on it right! I also find that it’s not as hard for me as some people I know because my kids don’t really have an issue with me leaving. Neither of them have ever had a problem with being held by people they don’t know well or even being left with sitters. I would probably feel much different if either of them cried when I left or begged me to stay at home. I will say that being a stay at home mom is by far the hardest, most under appreciated job out there. It’s long days, tiring nights and you are never ever alone! Silence is foreign when you’re a mom anyway, but to a stay at home mom silence becomes frightening you forget what it is!
Back to my point, I’ve made it a week and a half. I’m still trying to work out the kinks of getting up at 5am being at work by 6 and still having time at night to get done with all the things I need to do. I know a rhythm will start to show soon and I won’t feel like a sleep deprived zombie forever, but until then I’ll keep the coffee drip going.